Smokey’s House of Paincakes

…and other old Nintendo slogans.

Yesterday Glen and I stopped in at Square One, well, because it was “Comic Book Day” yee-haw! (Which is actually every Wednesday, but it’s still exciting non-the-less.) He also wanted to stop by EB Games and pick up a couple of new games for his 360. (I’ve been having my fill with Guitar Hero II and a little Crackdown myself.)

Anywho, as the game clerk is walking by, I give him the guns (pointing my fingers at him and pretend I’m shooting, for those that don’t know the lingo) and I super sarcastically ask “You guys have any Wiis???”

He says “Yup!”

I says “Crap! Umm… alright get me one!”

So now, close to $400 later, I have a Wii! (Had to get Zelda with that bad boy!) So I definitely have me some Wiid hook ups ;)

And now, sitting on my gaming shelf, from the ancient prophecy of the wise ones, I have a combo Wii60! It’s like I’ve joined a new club or something.

On that note…. Zelda kicks a lot of ass!

Here’s a quick tip for creating some robust HTML reports.

Build an HTML table that resembles the following:

<table>
<thead>
<tr>
<td>Heading 1</tr>
<td>Heading 2</tr>
<td>Heading 3</tr>
<td>Heading 4</tr>
</tr>
</thead>

<tbody>
<tr>
<td>Column 1</tr>
<td>Column 2</tr>
<td>Column 3</tr>
<td>Column 4</tr>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>

Then, create a style sheet with the following rule:

@media print
{
thead { display: table-header-group; }
}

Now if you were to print out this report and it spanned multiple pages, the header will automatically appear on the top of every page.

Allright, where do I begin? Well, I guess Friday is a good start as any. Went to go see the Grindhouse with some friends, and let’s just say this move blew my freakin’ mind! It was absolutely amazing! It was exciting, action packed, cheesy, over the top, and definitely the best movie I have seen this year. One of the best movies I’ve seen in a long time! It gets 5 outta 5 Smokestacks!

Now we come to Saturday. The TSN turning point. This starts off with two Blue Jays tickets, only 4 rows behind the dug out. The Tigers dug out.. mwahahahahaha!! I took Gwildor along cause I know he’s always up for a good heckling. The game started at 1, and we proceeded to get smashed outta of minds by 1:30. It was great!! We were yelling, screaming, and plain being obnoxious. Whatever the hell it was we were doing, we were getting free beer out of it! A few from the hottie sitting in front of us too (pictures to come). We lost the game which was a bummer, but we didn’t stop there! We then went to check out the CN Tower, since I got some free ticks from a friend of mine that works there and I proceeded to pick-up a visiting Tigers fan. Did I mention super hot Tigers fan? Well… I will! The night progressed on, and Gwildor had to leave. He was ruined. I, while still partaking in the same amount of alcohol, was still ready to go and took this hottie out on the town!

Sunday….. blarrrrrrr! In my own stupidity, getting home smashed at 2 in the morning was not a good idea when I need to be on lake shore at 8 for the 10km Walk for MS. Oh I did it!! I wasn’t going to be a baby about it. Especially since I raised close to $500 dollars for the cause! So there I went, two red bulls later and my iPod, I just trekked the whole distance, not even saying a word to a single person. In fact, didn’t really know anyone else was there! Afterwards, I proceeded home and crashed. Only to wake up a few hours later and head to the RAPTORS GAME!! Yay!! I called Gwildor to so if he was ready to go, but go he did not. I broke him. So I called up Marky Mark and he was good to go. The raps were a lot tamer than the blue jays. Let’s say I was alot tamer than the blue jays.. hehe… Not a single beer for me that night. I felt like shit!! The game was still fun though, and I thoroughly enjoyed the Raptors girls. Especially being only 4 rows from the floor. Did I mention I had great tickets?

Anywho.. that was my weekend. Action packed, super sports weekend extravaganza! A cornucopia of fun!!

Did I mention I picked up a hottie??? ;P

1. I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of shit.
2. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.
7. I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don’t work here. I’m a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a word you’re saying.
10. Ahhh…I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don’t give a damn.
14. I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
20. I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.
21. It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be…?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left!
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed it.
31. I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what’s behind door #1?
34. Chaos, panic, & disorder – my work here is done.
35. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
36. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
37. File that under “Never”.

Actually, more like I walk alone. Yup, it’s just me now. I tried to get a couple of friends involved in the 10k Walk for MS this weekend, but they’ve all cancelled on me. Seems to be my motif.

Oh well, I raised close to $500 and I’m still doing the walk. Although it would be better with friends, there’ll be plenty of strangers to hang around with!

That’s ok too though, cause those who are two busy to come walk are also too busy to join me with Dug Out seats at the Blue Jays game Saturday, and floor seats to the Raptors game this Sunday!! Wooooo!! Busy weekend for moi!

Kickin in, old school!

I inbox keeps filling up because I’m keeping certain emails that I find funny. Well… I hate a cluttered inbox, so to keep these funny emails, I’m just gonna post them right here in my blog. That way, I can always find em, in case I need a little cheering up!

This one is about an old dude applying to Walmart:

NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Bastard)

SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate)

DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I’m worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment .

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job – no!
On my breaks – yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.

NEAREST RELATIVE….7 miles

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.